Disclosure

I was playing with the dogs in the backyard this morning. Somewhere between still drunk and hungover, I was making small talk with the neighbor. She tells me that she's getting a mammogram today. I don't know what I said. Did I say what was running through my head. Have fun. Good luck. Too much information. When do I need one of those. I think I mumbled "eoooooh" and furrowed my brows. Hope that helped.

Hallelujah

For the past 2 days I've been in Kearney, NE at a work conference. Every meal has been preluded by a prayer, but the last prayer at lunch today really took the cake. So I'm bowing my head, shifting between eyes closed and open, when I hear the speaker say "we pray for our president in his time of need." What? Are you kidding me? I was shocked, I looked up to see if anyone else was hearing/reacting to this. Nope, of course not. Oh man. We could have prayed for so many other people and things, how about the homeless, the troops in Iraq, a new president.

New to the job and conscientious about what I say and who I offend, I was thrilled when riding home with a co-worker. He expressed similar views of dis-belief towards the prayer session we had endured....a open-minded individual, now thats what I'm thanking god for.

10 reasons I'm excited about Fall

1. I get to wear my new spiffy shoes I got at Footloose & Fancy 3 months ago.
2. Soup.
3. Halloween.
4. Ween in Omaha.
5. Turning off the effing AC.
6. Columbus Day (for the day off of work of course, fuck Columbus).
7. Less people on the bike path (not that I ride, but for walking the dogs).
8. Hot Tea.
9. More time to watch movies, fewer BBQs :(
10. And naturally, the colors.

The Evil Empire

Lately I've been having a bad internet connection at home. I've repaired my network connections so many times I need a shortcut for it. It takes forever to get from one page to the next and then I get kicked off once I've linked to a point of no return. I can't help but think that it is somehow related to the 3 month discount I'm getting on road runner. You see, every year you can call time warner cable and threaten to cancel service. They then ask you if you'd like to hang on for 3 more months at half price. Are these connected,? Like Jeb counting the ballots, I can't win.

Kali at work in the office (aka under the couch)

Maximum Occupancy

What once was a peaceful houshold is now threatened by our newest house guest, Kali, my sisters cat. She came to stay with us about three weeks ago, when my sister moved in with a girl who is severly allergic to cats, animals, and apparently most other life forms. Kali is a pretty kitty with one very annoying habit. She sucks her paws. You'll be on the verge of sleep, when suddenly you'll hear a terribly creepy noise. You turn the lights on and find Kali going at her paw like it abused her in a past lifetime.

Unfortunately, thats not what has upset the balance in our house. Kali has taken over the dog free zone (the basement) and pused Joel's cat, Jaimber out of the basement.

Jaimber, in her mid teens, is unwilling to adjust to this new disturbance. Until now, she has been a model cat. The first dog, woah was she mad, but she backed the dog up into a corner like the bitch that she is and marked her territory, not literally. The second dog, mild depression? maybe, but she learned to live with the new clumsy one.

Now we've pushed her too far. SHE REFUSES TO GO IN THE BASEMENT! Where the litter boxes are. Well, I finally got the smell out of the second basket of laundry. More recently, she's been sleeping (I hope) about six inches away from my head and twice last week I woke up to the sweet melody of dry heaving. What to do. What to do. Someones got to go.